Tight. But Not Terrible.
Zippers 102

Naming It

Burn out

Exhaustion

Phoning it in

Disengaged

Just not right

Tired of being tired

Good, but not great

I'm off. I'm not sure why I feel off kilter but I am, and have been for some time. It's a lot to do with work and some things at home and it's like a ton of feathers, weighting me down and throwing me off.

Nothing is really wrong. I have secure, good paying employment. My kids are great people who need me less in some ways but need me a lot for some of their challenges. I have a good relationship with my partner who listens and is supportive. I'm healthy except for being stressed and tired (which I know can lead to I'll-health, another reason to name it).

I mostly feel like I'm stretched a little much and I'm not sure what needs to change so that I'm spending less time mindlessly scrolling Twitter or playing Two Dots and more time knitting, running, blog-writing and figuring out what kind of work will re-energize me.

I suppose this is the "mid-life crisis." It doesn't feel very crisis-y, more like a slow burn.

I wanted to publicly name it, or at least try to name what I'm experiencing so I can move past the "what's wrong with me?" And the "why am I so tired and unsettled?" Towards some thinking of what's next.

Stay tuned.

 

Comments

I'm sorry you're having to go through this and I'm glad to hear your 'voice' again here. Keep talking, it can help. Ask me how I know, heh. Big hugs from a long-time fellow traveler. Also, whatcha knitting?

I can relate exactly! I've decided that the best thing to do is to be more deliberate about taking time for myself. Not being able to take a vacation right now, I'm trying to make sure I have time to do things I like to do, not just things I need to do because of work, kids, housework, etc. I try to leave work a little earlier and cut myself some slack at home. The house doesn't need to be spotless (not that mine ever really was), and it's ok to be behind in your chores and/or ask others for more help. Grab your knitting and a glass of wine and take some time to yourself! Hopefully you (us both!) can get over feeling burned out soon!

I just heard a radio story this week where they reported very few people have a mid life crisis, but many/most have a malaise. Your description could have been one of their sample cases. I'm sorry you're feeling off, but you'll get it sorted, I'm sure. And, back to the radio report, they said most people were the happiest and most satisfied after this mid life dip. Hang in there!

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