January 11, 2005

So much for public pronouncements I did get to bed a wee bit earlier last night but couldn't fall asleep. I just couldn't settle down--that rarely happens so I must be a bit stressed out. And, Alexander awoke very early so I was rather tired this morning. Then, work got the better of me and I had an unexpected meeting so I didn't get to the gym. Damn. What the hell is it with me? I have a FREE membership, a locker, towel service and I work in the building. But I don't go. I did sign up for a yoga class every Tuesday at 11:30 (starting next week) and I know I'll go to that--it's in my PDA and everything. I guess that's what I have to do with the other exercise days--book'em. A lot of this stems from feeling guilty about leaving the kids in daycare for too long a period each day. When I was a student they were there less time and I got exercise in because I didn't have to factor in travel-to-work time. Now I feel like I'm being a bad parent if I take a few hours a week and have them stay longer. It's worse right now because Craig's out of town for business (day 11 and counting) so I want to be with them. I also think that because it's not specifically my work, that I need to put in enough time--and in academia it's never enough. However, my shoulders and arms are aching from too much computer time and I feel lousy. I know some things suffer when you work outside the home and parent, but it can't be my body--not when I read articles all day about physical activity and obesity! I'll give it a try again tomorrow. At least visit my locker and put my clothes in. Maybe that'll get me going. I did finish the first Retro-rib sock last night and am starting the second one tonight. I can't do short-row toes on the subway and I didn't have anything to knit on the commute. The subway is really boring with no knitting; must not let that happen again.

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