I was on the subway this morning riding to work, when an odd thing happened.
I'm sitting (ya, that is odd, but that's not the point of this story) and the orientation of the seats is such that I am perpendicular to other passengers. Directly in my line of site are two 20-something women, and one of them is sporting a nice looking chartreuse messenger bag. I like chartreuse and I like bags, so I was looking at it.
Thing is, the girls were holding hands on top of this bag. And when one of the pair made eye contact with me, she thought I was checking out the hand holding so she looked me right in the eye, grabbed her girl's hand and licked it rather provocatively.
I instinctively turned away and then looked back and said: "I like your bag". They look at me, and we're all laughing a bit nervously. She says thanks and I say "I didn't mean to make you upset" and we laugh a bit more.
It this had been a heterosexual couple none of this would have happened. I could be thought rude for checking out the bag, but there wouldn't be this latent sense that I *might* be judging a couple riding to work together for holding hands.
There wouldn't be that direct confrontation or the nervous laughter.
I wouldn't feel a teeny bit bad for making them feel uncomfortable and they wouldn't feel a teeny bit bad for being defensive about their relationship.
That's how homophobia messes stuff up for everyone. Even in everyday life riding the subway to work, checking out people's accessories.
The only thing I would have liked to told them was: "I like that you're in love too".